The main thing I hear over and over again from clients and potential clients is that they struggle with a lack of self-confidence.
“I struggle to feel good about myself”
“My main challenge is to feel comfortable in my own skin”
“I lack confidence which shows up as worrying what other people think.”
One of the biggest desires I hear, is to be more confident.
“I want to be more confident in myself”
“I would like more self-esteem and confidence”
“I get stressed easily because I don’t have the confidence in myself that I can cope”
Even people who say they’re pretty confident most of the time, want to feel more consistently confident or more confident in a certain area of life; usually work or close relationships.
Can you relate? I can. I’m pretty confident, most people see me as really confident. In my work I am generally really confident… in my blog writing, less so. With men, I can actually be a bit shy, especially with a guy I really like.
An extreme lack of confidence is born from low self-esteem, a lack of self-belief, self-doubt or low self-worth which, in turn, could be a result of many things; not being encouraged enough as a child, not being validated and acknowledged, not being loved and accepted… the list goes on.
However even without any of those things, you probably still struggle with a lack of confidence at times, because well, its just human nature. You care what other people think of you because you want to be liked and you want to belong. We all do.
The knock-on effect of a lack of confidence is never feeling good enough, not achieving anything you want, feeling too afraid to do new things, staying small and not being connected to yourself deeply. All of which will only exacerbate a lack of confidence as your mind notes down all evidence of when you’re proved ‘right’, hence “I knew that wouldn’t work” adds to your ‘belief’ that “I can’t do it” which of course equals even less confidence.
A self-fulfilling prophecy. A vicious cycle.
You may think self-confidence is something which you either have or don’t have. It may seem that way, but I don’t believe that’s true, because I know it can be learned, developed and embodied. I’ve seen it, experienced it and helped others do it too. The key here is, it needs to be embodied, confidence is not something that can be thought, it is a feeling and feelings need to be felt in the body.
I teach unique tools and practices which help people like you embody their natural or true Inner Confidence, which is a deeply embodied confidence which emerges gently from within through implementing various tools and through ongoing practice. Its not fake, pretending or wearing a mask – everyone can see through that kind of confidence anyway and it comes across as very ‘icky’.
Inner confidence is so powerful (and attractive too) … and it is ALL YOURS!
You want to be more confident in an authentic way right?
So, if you struggle with a lack of self confidence sometimes, a lot of the time, or just in a certain area of your life, try my quick confidence boosting practice below.
#1 Grab a fresh sheet of paper and write at the top “I (your name) am awesome. I am loved. All is well”
#2 Then underneath, write down all the positive things you can think of, about yourself. It could be a quality you like in yourself, things other people say about you, what you’re good at, things you like about your appearance. Write down at least 30 separate things. Do not stop until you have at least 30 things, they can be big or small, more is better. Even though it might be difficult, just focus on the positive and keep writing!
#3 Look over your list and mark the top 3 positive things, the ones that make you feel really good. To help you focus on these, write them on a post-it (or on several) and put it somewhere you’ll see it everyday. When you see it, read them aloud or inside your head as many times as you can over at least 7 days. Say them to yourself in the mirror! Repeat them as often as possible.
See how you feel differently about yourself as you do this practice and keep repeating your positive aspects to yourself!!
Please comment below with your top 3 things, don’t be shy now. Be proud of your positive aspects:-)
Love Hils x
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